Forever in a FUNK??

. . . Nah, life totally has its ups and downs but at this ripe old age of "almost 30" (grrrr,ugh,blah), I have learned that we can get through anything. . . .even extremely CRAPPY, CRAPPY weeks :) So with that said, I am happy to report that I believe I have recovered from my recent state of FUNK! The last two weeks have been a little rocky in my life. My kids went away to stay with their auntie for their first week of spring break, and while I thought I was going to have a nice relaxing week of fun, the week didnt go quite as planned and I quickly realized how my kids are everything in my life. I was lonely, lost, and kind of felt out of place. I'm not one that spends a lot of time at home, and this week thats where I found myself . . . thinking about growing old and gray all alone, it was lovely. At the end of the week, I found out one of my bestest friends is pregnant. While I am totally, completely, 100% happy for her and her husband, I was a little shocked at my own reaction to their news. After a minor friend freakout, I ate not just one, but two, donuts from the most enormous donut store in town, and proceeded to cry for the next 6 days :) I am not normally a crier so this everyday thing was killing me . . . I guess I want a baby (and maybe a husband that wants a baby too :)

While I have the best support system of wonderful friends and family who I think totally "get" me . . . I cant help but sometimes be sad. I have a wonderful, amazing life but would love to find that missing piece and guess am tired of hearing people give me their take on it . . . .give it time . . . when you least expect. . . blah blah blah. . . I know people just want to help and I love you for it, but sometimes sad and depressed is where I need to be :)


And as an added update (and final blow in my crappy week) . . . I would like to make a public announce so people can stop inquiring about ummm "that situation" haha . . . he is GONE, not gonna happen :) I have always dreamed of marrying a childhood friend, so when this boy suddenly showed up from my middle school past (a boy I happened to have a huge crush on)- I think I immediately thought it was fate and fell in love with the idea of this dreamed up fairy tale coming true. I admit, I maybe jumped to some conclusions fairly quickly and missed the obvious . . . that he and I were going nowhere . . . so we said our farewells (something that did not bring tears) and I again search onward for Mr. Perfect . . . oh how the heart wants :)

This kid of mine is totally random . . .

I LOVE him . . . he is ambitious, determined, driven, a go-getter (hmmm, do all those things mean the same thing?) and someday will be rich and rule the world (or so he hopes), he is adorable and trouble all in the same moment. He has a special seat in the principal's office, but totally makes his teacher smile. He is loving, passionate, and doesnt care what anyone thinks of him, but randomly decides to be shy . . . AND he says the FUNNIEST things ever. If I wrote them all down - I think I could write a best seller. . . . the kid melts my heart completely :) Anyways, my dad has been ever so anxiously waiting for me to post this one, so here is my "Cayden" story of the week . . . a couple of weeks ago Cayd was watching tv and randomly decided to make his birthday list (his birthday is in August . . .ummm, this was March) I didnt pay much attention to him, but he sat and wrote this list ALL night. When I told him to get ready for bed he placed the list on my computer desk and announced he was finished. I could lie and say I was busy blogging, but since proof in in my lack of posts, I will be honest and admit I was facebook stalking :) I pushed the list aside and didnt even give it a glance. The next night, Aubrey was at the computer and asked me if I read his list. . . . "you have to read it mom, my brother is weird." Again, I forgot. A couple nights later I came across it while cleaning up a stack of papers. It took me a minute to figure out what it was, and another minute to decipher Cayden's LONG, misspelled birthday list . . . "ummm, Aubrey . . .your brother is definitely weird!!"

So amongst the normal things a 7 year old boy would ask for . . . a new paintball gun, army googles, nerf gun, speakers for his guitar, a drill . . . .here are Cayden's simple birthday requests ( I of course already posted on facebook and conned many of my friends into taking care of his "desires," but wanted to share my kid with the rest of the cyber world)

Cayden would also like the following. . . A tshirt gun (also a Christmas request that was not fullfilled, although he did receive the plunger from that list, . . . he would like to be the official Cougar tshirt shooter at the hs football games), a pig, a big fat cowboy belt, a mustache, another house built in our backyard, a brick of surfboard wax, a moon rock, to be the middle child, a secretary, a long stick, and 3 boxes of snow!!

I have no clue where he came from . . . but he keeps me LAUGHING for sure!

Happy Easter

I got the opportunity to be with my sisters this weekend :) Yeah. . . I LOVE them! Anyways, we were bagging on Boring blogs (you all know you have read them) and they commented that I dont get an opinion since I havent blogged In over 2 months!! Yikes, has it been that long?? My kids went to their Auntie Shawna's house for their 1st week of spring break. During the day, I of course worked, but at night I was supposed to use my time wisely and read a couple books, get back on my running schedule, do a little dating, and catch up on my blog, of course. Ummm . . . the kids are home now, and NONE of the above got accomplished :( I spent my evenings in a funk (which I will explain in an upcoming post), and really did absolutely nothing but wallow in self pity. Yeah, it was fun and productive :) Anyways. . . I am super grateful this day for my family. I have the bestest one ever!! My sister happily volunteered her 1st week off track (yes, away from her school kids) to take in mine and entertain for a week. I LOVE her and know the kids had a fantastic time in Las Vegas. I got to hear them rub it in to friends today, and I know they realize how super lucky they are to have terrific aunties :) Shawna spoiled them rotten with fun activities. During their 5 days with her they visited a trampoline house, went to a hockey game, painted pottery, visited the M&M and coke factory, went to the 3 different arcades, and went black light miniture golfing. . . I'm sure I missed something, I doubt there was a dull moment. Later in the week, my other super wonderful sister, Molly and her hubby Bryan joined them. I drove in a couple days later and in a short 24 hours we visited, ate, site saw, shopped, played, and got to do the Easter stuff together. I am truly blessed!